Mental health and paddling

By James ‘Ibbo’ Ibbotson
and Del Read

Photos:
Tom Clare,
Del Read,
James ‘Ibbo’ Ibbotson,
Alan Potts/
Eagles Nest Photography

Mental health and paddling

Mental health is just like physical health: we all have it. At times it may be good; other times, it may be bad. But we all have it, and we all need to look after it. That is something I have come to learn. The only thing is, you can’t see mental health. You may see some clues as to what is going on in a person’s head, but you’ll never see it like you would a broken bone or cut.

For years

I hid mine from my friends, family and anyone who cared about me. However, I also hid it from myself, pretending that I was OK. On the outside, I was a loud, fun, and cheery person. I won’t bore you with every detail of my life and what I was up to. All you need to know is that I wasn’t OK, and I kept plodding on as if I was.

self-harm, excessive drinking, and unnecessary risk-taking
The best way to describe part of my issues was being numb and feeling nothing. At the time, I was dealing with that in a very self-destructive and harmful way. These behaviours included self-harm, excessive drinking, and unnecessary risk-taking. This risk-taking is what I wanted to focus on here and how it came out on the water. I would paddle down rivers when I probably shouldn’t have, run rapids that others portaged, and put my body in positions that left it open to injury. I had several injuries and almost drowned several times from my recklessness.

It wasn’t until I was called out for certain behaviours by my now (amazing) girlfriend that I did anything about it. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do (harder than 24 hours on the Dart, Trent, or Dee!), but I went online and did a self-referral to get some help. The first phone call with the therapist was the scariest; I knew it would only work if I was 100% honest, but I had never been before.

weekly session

I got through it. I was told I had depression and anxiety and that they could help me cope. I began a weekly session by discussing how it affected me, any incidents from the week and how I dealt with them. I also started on medication to help me while I put healthy coping mechanisms in place. But I still didn’t tell anyone else. This is close to two years ago now.

However, my most significant breakthrough came a year later when I took the leap and started to talk to people about it. I was never scared about what people would think about it or of me; it was just a mental block. But as soon as I told the first person, my dad, it was like a weight was lifted. And the year since has been one of my best in a boat.

Hardly a week after telling my family I was in Paris competing at the freestyle European Championships where I made my first major international final. From there, I started up all the events I ran that had been put on pause during covid. The Nottingham Freestyle League was back, and planning was underway for the European Open. Mixed in there was the Freestyle World Championships in Nottingham, where I made the final again. These were my best two international results to date!

In the summer, I also undertook my third 24-hour paddling challenge raising money for several charities, including YoungMinds. I won’t go into detail here, as you can read all about this in the last edition of Paddler magazine (https://paddlerezine.com/charity-challenge/). As you can imagine, on a 24-hour paddle, you have lots of time to talk to your group, and naturally, mental health comes up. It was so nice to talk freely with people about it and how they look after it. It is important to know that what everyone does is different, and what may work for one person may not for another.

a safe space

The best example for us kayakers of this is paddling. For some, paddling is an escape from the daily routine and stresses. The water is a safe space where all you have to do is focus on what you are doing and enjoy the time with your friends. But for me, it often made things worse. I would be so focused on training for my next competition, putting so much pressure on myself, that I would say I lost the main part of kayaking – the fun!

I got to the point in 2020 where I was considering quitting competition. I shared this with my coach (minus the mental health aspect), and he helped me to see that my results in competition aren’t equal to how people see me as a paddler. This certainly helped; I spent more time in my creek boat and spreading my freestyle across every feature on my home water at Holme Pierrepont.

Since starting to talk about my mental health, and my struggles with it, it has all become a lot easier. I’m not ‘that paddler with depression’; I’m still Ibbo, who does C1. Nobody treats me differently or looks at me differently. And I would say that is the beauty of the kayaking community, and anyone should feel safe talking to their friends.

Del Read

Del Read is one of my mates whom I have spent many hours paddling over two 24-hour challenges. For her, she finds kayaking to be helpful when trying to relieve stress after a busy day job teaching science. For her, kayaking provides her with a place to practise mindfulness, where she has to be very aware of her body and surroundings to paddle as she would like. This is a brilliant example of looking after your mental health while it is still good.

Del goes on to say that kayaking provides her with three things that she finds are important for her. Time with friends on the water, sharing those paddling experiences with those close to you, and also provides lots of talking time. The physical activity side can also prove beneficial, and there is a proven link between physical activity and positive mental health impacts.

‘blue space’

Finally, kayaking gives you time outdoors. Commonly referred to as ‘blue space’, the rivers, lakes, and other bodies of water around us have a long-standing link to relieving stress and anxiety. So the more time spent outdoors, the better. But with all this, it is essential to remember that everyone is different, and what may be suitable for one person may be bad for another.

Mental health is important, and we need to look after it. It is different for everyone, and how to look after it will change from person to person. But we need to look after it, and you shouldn’t wait until it is bad to start. If you feel comfortable talking to a friend, then do so. It doesn’t have to be about every detail and can be as simple as “I’m not doing so good, mate.” Any good friend will do what they can to pick you up and help you out. If you feel like you aren’t ready to talk to a friend, then there are lots of free resources where you can talk to someone who is a faceless voice on the end of a phone (such as the Samaritans, Mind, YoungMinds, Shout and CALM).

start that conversation

Also, do not be afraid to ask someone if they are doing OK. It can be hard to start that conversation, but it could help a friend. Some of the best times to spark up a conversation are whilst paddling. Our minds are focused on paddling, and we aren’t directly face-to-face with people, so it feels easier to have a conversation. For some, paddling is a form of therapy, taking them out of their daily routine.

For others, it can add to the problem. So be patient and allow people to feel comfortable. Sometimes you may need to ask twice if the person is alright; this shows you care about how the person is feeling and you have the time and space to listen to them.

Listen to yourself and listen to other people. Make time for yourself and make time for others. You never know who is having or has had struggles. If you or anyone you know is struggling, there is lots of help in many different formats. You may not find the right help the first time, but please don’t let that stop you from trying again.