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Receiving your trail name is a time-honored ritual for thru-hikers. Whether someone else presents it to you or you come up with it yourself, your new moniker is what your new friends will call you for months, and probably beyond: Some of Backpacker’s authors still use theirs when they write.
But what if you’re just not a creative person? Never fear: Technology has come to the rescue. We fed more than 2,000 real Appalachian Trail hikers’ trail names, obtained from the Appalachian Trail Conservancy‘s list of finishers, into three different neural networks and asked them to invent some new ones. The results ranged from believable to, well…we’ll just let you see for yourself. Here are 70 of our favorites, arranged from least to most weird.
I Think I Know That Guy!
These are plausible. Mostly, anyway.
- Chins
- Mood Bars
- Threat Bear
- Walmart Eye
- No Probation
- Giggler
- Captain Goat
- Tijuanadile
- Sour Pony
- Snake Check
- The Turkey
- Coach Bum
- Lady Lovin’
- Skittle Red
- Trash Monk
- Midwest Abe
- Moontoon
- Billy Bear
- Wondertoe
The Trail Angels Will Definitely Remember This One
We’re getting into the slightly weirder ones now. On the plus side, you’ll probably be the only Alan Toot in the trail register.
- Sheet Caper
- Buttly
- Deadcar
- The Hard
- Alan Toot
- Mad Sing
- Pileman
- The Bore
- Goon Wand
- Baldy Band
- Van Wind
- Olive Breaks
- Old May
- Butter Esq.
- The Malty
- Leaf Picket
- Summitments
- Big Tag Tall
- Ed Keys
- Sir End
- Quiet Peters
- Pushbaby
- Bleepy Fox
- Snail Blue
- Edward Hog
- Moo Boo
- Yard Shin
- Big Ten Bear
- Oranger Dog
- Sure Wizard
- Pit Boy
- Cold Canada
- Pooh Beast
- Urgent Daddy
Who Needs Words, Anyway?
Language is constantly in flux. Who knows, maybe in 100 years, “Groocher Doos” will mean something profound.
- Humbo Sows
- Mad Barder
- Goon Doot
- Nondles
- Squeech
- Busto
- Starky Buck
- Zing Ban
- Groocher Doos
- Thumbles
- Wobbittler
- Spidentley
- Compasspork
- Coughbrew
- Eighting Dog
- Turd Furgers
- Beergers