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Jezebel writer Audra Heinrichs has never once been mistaken for an outdoorsy person—“the kind of person who’d take a ski trip and actually leave the lodge,” as she recently wrote,— I, on the other hand, have been outed as an outdoorsy person many times by my body odor alone. In fact, I’m one of those “bonafide freaks who’d consider feasting on freeze-dried food and shitting in the woods a vacation.” (That was a great trip to the bottom of the Grand Canyon this spring!)
Ms. Heinrichs defines being outdoorsy simply as serving a look while outdoors; she claims she’s redefining what a nature-loving woman represents. To this, I demand: Why choose?! We are women! We can, and we should have it all.
One Halloween, I enjoyed three unkempt days in the Moab desert—mountain biking in my finest fishnet tights and leather vest—sporting an ironic biker chick chic for the holiday.
On perhaps the most incredible powder day of my life, in the great fashion hamlet of Rossland, British Columbia, I skied copious amounts of fresh snow at Red Mountain in a body suit and leopard print jacket soaked to the bone with sweat and melted snowflakes. Faux fur is not waterproof, but the lewk slapped.
I’ve seen sequins, glitter, vintage gowns, and three-piece suits appear on the ski hill. I went on a “Coats and Hoes” themed hiking retreat in Joshua Tree, where the dress code was precisely what you’re thinking. Desert function meets fashion time and time again. Did you know the number one rule of every river trip is to stuff a dry bag or three full of as many chic wigs, body glitter, and boas as possible? You don’t want to be underdressed on your first night at camp, so make sure to sport a pair of these iconic sandals that continue to inspire fashion designers worldwide.
Some women even choose to put on makeup before they hike or work out because it makes them feel more confident—and confidence is one of the main reasons they move their bodies. They even make dresses just for hiking now or climbing or playing pickleball—whatever you are into. And while they don’t have nearly as much tulle as the Arc’teryx-inspired ball gowns donned by the Hadid sisters and their mother on Virgil’s Abloh’s runway at Paris Fashion Week in 2020, you can be sure if I ever got my hands on a piece like that, the first place I’d wear it is on the chairlift. The second would be to the bar, because what is après ski but the place to see and be seen?
So Audra, next time you feel outdoorsy and want to sport a fashionable jacket outside, consider this an open invitation to call me. I’ll bring the rest of the gear.